Let me start off by saying that we all struggle with having confidence and the right attitude, which are both crucial to be successful in life. However, these two things go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other, and what I mean by that is the better attitude you have, the more confidence you have; and the more confidence you have, the better attitude you have. So they are really intertwined. I struggled with that for a long time. When I was in my 20’s, I didn’t always have confidence. I second guessed myself, worried about the opinions of others, and didn’t always trust myself. As I matured into my 30’s, I started learning about attitude, confidence, and how they directly impact your success in life. These 2 things are, in my opinion, the most important things you must master in the game of business and life. I want to talk about both.
Let’s start with ATTITUDE
The attitude we have everyday determines the way our lives unfold – the successes we have, the failures we have, the way we approach life. Attitude is really 100% in our control. A lot of people let their environment cause them to have a negative attitude. The other people around them are negative, so it causes them to be negative. But, there is a simple solution. Make a choice not to be negative. We have control over everything in our life. We are 100% responsible for everything in our life. Everything that happens or doesn’t happen. Because it’s something that we either did, we didn’t do, or a reaction we had to something. It may not be the entire situation, but a piece of it that impacts us, we have control of that. Once I’ve realized that, it changed everything for me.
If you are surrounded by negative people, and you’re letting that cause you to be negative and give you the crappy attitude, that’s a choice you’re making. You’re CHOOSING to be negative. You don’t have to do that; you can decide, “No I’m not gonna be that way, I’m gonna be positive”. We all have moments where negativity comes in. Not a single day that goes by where I jump out of bed, kick my heels together, and stay positive 100% of the day. We all have moments where something pisses us off, irritates us, but it’s being aware when that happens and making the adjustments. Choosing to say, “Okay, that made me angry… move on”. Some people can’t do that, because they don’t understand that it’s a choice. They let this environment, and these external things impact them, when really we have control.
Attitude is a choice. If you struggle with attitude or being positive because of your environment, your job, issues with your spouse or whatever the case may be, understand that just because they’re negative and you’re in that environment, you don’t have to be that way. You have a choice. Maybe I am oversimplifying things, but over time you will have that “Aha!” moment. So if you’re struggling, understand it’s your choice. Wake up tomorrow morning, or go out there today after you read this, and make the choice to have a positive attitude. It’s that simple.
How about CONFIDENCE
The second I want to talk about is confidence. Confidence is something you can be born with. I was not one of those people. See, I was the chubby little kid, good at sports, but wasn’t the best athlete. I had good friends, but I wasn’t the most popular kid. I always had issue with confidence growing up. But as I got older and learned more about myself and had some wins in my life, I started looking at things differently. Confidence came, but it wasn’t because of the success I had. It wasn’t because I was fit or whatever the case may be. It was because I learned to be okay with who I am. I learned to be okay with my weaknesses. I learned to be authentic and vulnerable. That’s so important.
ALL of us have insecurities. All of us doubt ourselves. You could be CEO of an organization, making billions of dollar a year and you’re still gonna doubt yourself in some way, shape, or form. Every single day I doubt myself. That’s okay, I’m okay with this – my vulnerability. To be confident, you have to be comfortable in your own skin. You have to be comfortable being who you are, being authentic and vulnerable. Be comfortable with your weaknesses. Don’t try and hide them. Be who you are. I have a boat load of weaknesses, but I don’t define myself by those things.
I define myself and my confidence comes from being okay with who I am. Knowing what I’m good at, knowing what I’m not good at, and being okay with it. Confidence isn’t about walking in a room and being that alpha dog. Confidence comes from within by being okay with yourself, being authentic, being vulnerable. In my 20’s, I spent time worrying about what people thought of me. Was my shirt cool? Did I have a nice car. Was I impressing the girl? Was I impressing the client? Then I got to a point where I learned that doesn’t matter. No one gives a shit about those things. I am who I am. I’m the same person in a boardroom, a conference room, a courtroom, or out with my friends. I’m the same guy. I don’t change who I am. I don’t become someone else. That’s why I’m confident.
I know my capabilities, and I know my limitations. I don’t try and fix my weaknesses. I’m not gonna spend time trying to make a skill I have that’s a 3, a 6. I’d rather take my skills that are 7 and make them 10’s.
Remember, you have a CHOICE and A GIFT
Attitude is a choice. You have the choice how you react to the world, positively or negatively. When it comes to confidence, we all have talent, we all have gifts. We are all given special things, you have something inside you that’s great. You are you, no one else is like you. Be okay with that. Be authentic, be who you are. Don’t try and change who you are. That’s how you build confidence. It’s not about the nicest clothes or having the money or the cars. No! It’s about being cool with who you are and understanding your limitations, and being okay with that. It’s really that easy.
So I want all of you out there, if you’re struggling with attitude, flip the switch and decide to be positive. Just do it. If confidence is your issue, be comfortable with who you are. You are great. You have greatness inside of you. Every single one of us does. I promise you, if you’d look at yourself and look at your life, you’ve done amazing things and you can do even more amazing things. Understand that about yourself. Understand your capabilities, who you are and be that person. Don’t change for anybody.